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I realized I blog more on Thursdays or something..oh wells. anw I'm on my way home again in the train._.

A level music practical exam on Tuesday 5oct was..screwed up.): I could've done alot better if not for the lousy kawai piano although it was a grand..and I was really nervous and trying not to have a blank mind throughout the whole recital.omg freaking stressful.I've never performed with so much stress before.>< argh..not even my past abrsm or trinity piano exams..this time it was rly bad.I felt damn frustrated with myself everytime I made a mistake or I didn't do some expression I wanted to..): and the piano wasnt helping at all.D: it couldn't bring out the loud parts and the effects I was trying to do.and I ended up playing wrong things damn obviously and unfortunately they videoed everything.D: gg.T.T why!!! what's wrong with me seriously.why am I getting frustrated so easily nowadays?D: it's not only during this exam..it's just..in general nowadays even over trivial matters but at least I can still control myself to some extent..>< sigh.. emotionally unstable? wtv.): anw.there goes 40% of H2 music grade.. there goes my A for H2 music.. there goes my possibility of getting straight As for A lvls.):

alright the next 20% is gona be determined next week..>< that's 60% of my H2 music grade already.. portfolio:/ my free composition doesn't look good now..I'm gona have to do alot of amendments and stuff..alot of time's gona be used up..and I neeeeed time for mugging too..): argh.

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took back bio paper ytd morning.. mr liw returned me my chem paper2 in the morning after assembly.got 2 more marks added though I only appealed for one!!!:D hahaha awesome..my prelim chem grade got from a D to a C mwahaha.. lol.. I guess I shld be happy with myself though unsatisfied.. and though.. it's still damn lousy cos everyone's doing great for chem and all..): I feel lousier for my chem which was a C than for bio paper2 which was a U.omg nice one._. oh wells.but I'm kinda quite happy about my bio.. I have no idea why._. mayb cos the cohort average was a U.but it might be the first time I get a grade higher than U for bio in my whole hc life!! omg.I hope my paper3's gona be fine tmr!!!:/ though it wasn't v gd:/ aiya..): rly worried about A levels.><

stayed back to mug after that.. went library:/ did bio apps revision thing..haha was glad I could do some questions without referring to notes cos I didn't bring them anw.haha..then I did chem planning stuff too.the inorganic chem one sucks omg all memory work._. yea.. hm..stayed in sch till 9pm.. it sucked alright.):

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went to sch earlier today at usual time cos my dad had to go to work and stuff..dad has been having gastric pains or sth..>< 3days never go work alr:/ at least he's better now..mm.anw..it rained._. zz.luckily I brought my jacket..hm was completing the bio apps thing in the morning before gp lesson started.I had nothing else to do..>< omg what is this I never used to mug or do any work before school starts unless there's a paper on that day.D: wow.. mugging to fight boredom._.

anw.gp lesson was about some compre questions and aq..okay rly nothing much to talk about._. Sarah was late agn then end up never go lol tsk.xP hm then went band room after that.. guanteng called then we were chilling in band rm lol._. then went to eat with her..n went library to mug again argh.life is so sian and boring now that mugging and getting enlightened about concepts or simply succeeding in completing a math question has become a major source of satisfaction and transient happiness..n the atmosphere in school now is just..so dead n depressing._.

went out of school at around 1.. went esplanade library to mug.. did rj math paper and bio again._. okay I really want that A for A levels alright.>< esplanade library was damn cold.my jacket helped but I still felt cold lol.. as usual I guess._. it's me..then had gp tuition.wasn't rly concentrating my mind was super dead already.>< yea then now reaching home rly soon:/ at least I don't have to reach school early tmr..


sigh I keep getting into dilemmas and difficult situations that make me frustrated with myself..D: why can't things be so easy to decide like before..):