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just got home a while ago..
hcband farewell today. everything's over. no more band..): i guess being in a school band is just much more homely than any other band outside school:/ and i'll never get to be in one again.): thank you juniors and batchmates for everything.. from noel'08 to SYF'09 to thailand'09 to artitude'10 to capriccio'10.. and random band outings n chalets n sleepovers.. there's so much to say but i'm really tired.. reallyreally love u all alright..♥

i'm so tired.): 'tired' is such a vague word. i don't know what's happening. i'm just really tired of everything around me.. mentally tired.. and physically tired. my brain tends to go blank nowadays. and i keep stoning.. things that i usually liked to do don't seem appealing to me anymore. when i know i want to do something.. my brain just goes.."sian." and nothing happens. i'm just not in the mood to do anything at all these days.. i don't even know why i stayed back in sch till so late yesterday. maybe i just didn't want to go home.): sigh.. maybe putting 100% concentration on mugging would stop me from thinking about life. but then again i'm sick and tired of mugging. sick and tired of thinking about life.. okay so there leaves nothing else for me to do.=.= what's wrong with me?! ):

..okay i guess there's no point in reading my blog this year anymore. i'm really sorry to whoever who comes here and ends up reading all these rubbish. there's no need to visit my blog anymore. at least until the year ends.. and i'm really sorry to everyone around me for being such an idiot..>< just don't worry about me alright. i really don't know what's happening to me.. n i can't explain it in words..

maybe i just need band pracs.. now that i've stopped all band pracs possible for me, life seems so empty._. maybe it's a band withdrawal symptom thing. i need band pracs for all the fun and laughter. i need band pracs for the friends around me playing together as a band. i need band pracs for the joy of reading scores and challenging passages. i need band pracs for the shuangness of playing all out when i feel like. i need band pracs to let out my feelings through music. i need band pracs to escape from harsh reality..>< i'm definitely going back into band again after A levels. i feel like i'm in prison now..):

math stats test and bio applications and planning tests next week.. it's gona be mentally draining again.. mugging drains more energy than anything else i swear.=.= okay i need my piano now.. or at least my keyboard:/ can't imagine what i would be like if i hadn't learnt music since young.. i'm grateful that i did.

i will bball tmr morning. then come back and prac piano. then mug math and bio.. and hopefully finish all my chem work..>< okay. i'm going to my keyboard before my bed.): 86days to the start, 109days to the end..

My ship went down, In a sea of sound, When I woke up alone, I had everything.
A handful of moments, I wish I could change, And a tounge like a nightmare, That cut like a blade.
In a city of fools, I was careful in clue, But they tore me apart like a hurricane.
A handful a moments, I wish I could change, But I was carried away..